Monday, 30 March 2015

Saying "No"

Before I begin, I just want to quickly say thank you for the lovely comments about my Disney post last week- I know they're not always everyone's cup of tea so it really does make me smile when y'all say nice things. So the biggest thank you to every single one of you! Right, more serious again today- it's about saying no. And not always expecting "yes" as an answer.
There's been a lot of talk about consent lately online, and I wish to join in the conversation. Most conversations revolve around sexual situations and how you should not expect your partner to say "yes" just because you want to do something. I'd like to expand the subject further, which I'm sure many have already done, and discuss consent in all situations.

You are completely entitled to your own choices and life decisions- no matter what others say. Obviously you shouldn't make decisions which will deliberately hurt others, but if you are unhappy, you're completely allowed to make a decision which will eradicate this unhappiness. If you're in a poisonous friendship, you can cut that friendship out. You are allowed to say no to being friends with that person. If a teacher/parent is trying to force you into taking a subject you don't wish to take, you are within your rights to tell them "no" and not make that decision. Or if your friends are forcing you into a situation you are uncomfortable with, you can say "no".

That's not the most important part of this discussion though. Never, should you ever, put someone in a position in which they could be uncomfortable without informing them of the situation and being 100% certain they entirely consensual with it. Without that person's consent, you have no right to force someone into doing anything- no matter how little and pathetic you think it is.

thingsicantsay.com
If you force someone into doing something they feel uncomfortable with, you are essentially removing all control they have over their own body. Not only is that absolutely petrifying for the victim, it also makes you an absolute arse. If I ever have to explain this to an exceptionally ignorant person (which I know none of the readers of my blog are) I often liken it to a long lasting electrical shock- the type you see in cartoons. That sense of having absolutely no control, over any part of your body, is what it feels like in your mind when someone takes advantage of you not being able to say no and no one should ever be put in that situation. Don't take advantage of anyone, ever. 

It's times like this I wish I was good at writing so I could get across just how passionate I am about this. You should never be put in a situation where you don't feel in control of yourself and please do really evaluate the situation you're in and remove yourself if necessary. As always, if you need further advice on this, my email address is in the 'Contact' page 

Cheerio! Xxx

10 comments:

  1. I feel really passionate about this topic too. I just find it really hard to say no to some people in reality though. People should be 100% free to make their own decisions xxx

    http://izzyk1998.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. It's so difficult, especially as the people who put others in that position are the type of people who won't listen/take part in the discussion! xxx

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  2. I can tell how passionate you are about this topic, and to bu honest, so I am. It is literally the worst feeling when you are forced into doing anything or it doesn't feel like you are given much of a choice, I've been in the position quite a few times before and it's horrible. It is harder IRL to say no to certain people, maybe I'll just show them this post instead..

    The Velvet Black // UK Style & Beauty Blog

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    1. it's so difficult but the people who need to hear this are the people who don't want to listen >.<
      thankyou for being so lovely xxx

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  3. I couldn't agree more! Saying NO is learning how to put yourself first and it definitely takes on even more importance when it becomes sexual. I also wrote a post about it in hopes that people will be empowered. http://www.madamedreamer.com/2015/01/i-know-how-to-say-no.html ~ Check it out. Thank you for sharing!

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  4. This is such an important message. It is close to me since I often struggle to say no in fear of letting others down...
    Peace xo
    p.s. I would love it if you could check out this post! http://waitwhatok.blogspot.co.uk/p/once-upon-time.html

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    1. I understand you- it really sucks and I hope people make you feel more comfortable about saying no soon <3 xxx

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  5. This is such a great post and something that isn't really talked about enough, not many people realise that it's completely okay to say no to someone.

    Carolyn x
    Carolyn’s Simple Life

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    1. thankyou- it's completely fine! <3

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